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Welcome to Florida, where Michelangelo is woke

Ah, the Renaissance. A period that saw the growth of intellectual reason, the flowering of art and culture, and a lot of very hardcore pornography.

Such is the opinion of aggrieved parents of kids at Tallahassee classical school in Florida, anyway. Their sixth-graders (who are aged around 11-12) were shown a picture of Michelangelo’s sculpture of David during a Renaissance art class. Fairly normal, one might think – particularly for a school that advertises itself as providing a classical education. Nope: a firing offence. One parent called the sculpture “pornographic” and so much outrage ensued that the principal of the school, Hope Carrasquilla, was forced out.

This may seem completely bonkers to many of us but, Carrasquilla, the former principal, told the Huffington Post that she wasn’t entirely surprised by the reaction. Every “once in a while you get a parent who gets upset about Renaissance art”. Indeed, normally, a letter is sent out to parents of students warning them that their kiddos are going to see a picture of one of the world’s most famous sculptures. (I believe this is known as a “trigger warning”, something I thought the right were vehemently against.) This year, however, due to a “series of miscommunications”, the letter wasn’t sent out, exacerbating parental anger.

According to Slate, who interviewed Barney Bishop III, the school board chair responsible for forcing Carrasquilla out of her job, three parents were behind the bulk of the David-related outrage. Three parents. Three! But the number of angry parents doesn’t matter, because, according to Bishop, parents are always right. “Parental rights are supreme, and that means protecting the interests of all parents, whether it’s one, 10, 20 or 50,” Bishop said to the Tallahassee Democrat.

Bishop, by the way, denies that Carrasquilla was solely forced out because she showed the kids Michelangelo’s David. He wasn’t able to fully explain why she was forced out, however, but in his interview with Slate he reiterated his idea that the parents are always right. “The rights of parents, that trumps the rights of kids,” he told Slate. “Teachers are the experts? Teachers have all the knowledge? Are you kidding me? I know lots of teachers that are very good, but to suggest they are the authorities, you’re on better drugs than me.” Which raises the question: what kind of drugs is Bishop on?

This David-related drama might be mildly amusing if it were restricted to one dysfunctional school. Alas, it’s just the latest example of a terrifying lurch towards censorship and authoritarianism in Florida. Governor Ron DeSantis, who has been described as the “Education Governor” is on a censorship crusade and his first major battleground has been schools. DeSantis wants to completely reshape K-12 and higher education in the state and, so far, he’s been getting his way. Florida’s Republican-dominated legislature has already passed a number of laws limiting how gender, sexuality and race can be taught. Now the state is trying to limit sex education with a draft law that would ban schools teaching about menstrual cycles before the sixth grade. Give it a few years and showing a child a picture of Michelangelo’s David will be a criminal offence, punishable by firing squad.

I’m only half-joking about that last bit. Because DeSantis isn’t as erratic as Donald Trump, because he’s well spoken and went to Yale and Harvard, I think there has been a tendency in some quarters to minimize the dangers he poses, to think he’s not as scary as Trump. Think this at your peril. DeSantis shouldn’t be compared to Trump – he should be compared to Hungary’s far-right leader, Viktor Orbán, who is much beloved by US conservatives. Orbán has put an authoritarian playbook in place that DeSantis appears to be following: it’s widely thought, for example, that Florida’s “don’t say gay” law was modeled on Hungary’s anti-LGBTQ+ laws. “If you want to see where this leads, Hungary has a lot to teach us,” the New York Times columnist Michelle Goldberg wrote in a recent piece. Those lessons are not pleasant.

Kent police don’t think rape is an ‘emergency’

A police station in Kent, England, is facing backlash after posting a sign which listed a number of “non-emergency inquiries” they’d prefer people to report online. Among those? Domestic abuse and rape. They’ve now taken it down and made a lot of noise about how they take investigations of domestic abuse, rape and sexual assault “extremely seriously”. This doesn’t come at a great time for London’s Metropolitan police: a landmark report that came out this week concluded that the Met is guilty of institutional racism, misogyny and homophobia.

Chinese startup invents long-distance kissing machine

One online review describes it as feeling like “a warm pacifier”.

State-sponsored matchmaking app launched in China

In other China-based news, a city in Jiangxi has launched a matchmaking platform as part of a province-wide initiative to boost the marriage rate.

A rare bit of good news.

All hormonal contraceptives increase risk of breast cancer, says new study

But don’t panic too much. The Guardian reports that “Claire Knight of Cancer Research UK, which funded the study, said the risk was small and should not discourage most people from taking the pill.”

Twenty-five per cent of Black women say they were denied job interviews because of their hair

Another 25% of Black women aged 25-34 also said they were sent home from work because of their hair. The survey was commissioned by LinkedIn and Dove.

City of Regina in Canada sorry for ‘sexualised’ ads

A new ad campaign featured slogans like “show us your Regina”.

The week in peanutarchy

Is peanut butter a liquid? The correct answer to this is: “No! well, technically speaking, maybe – but nobody normal would consider it a liquid so, no, it isn’t.” The US’s TSA’s answer is: “Yes so don’t you dare bring it on a plane unless it’s 3.4 oz or less.” What a country, eh? Peanut butter on planes is strictly policed and yet, in many states, you can bring a gun into a grocery store. Absolutely nuts.